Its like glass when we Break..
There are times now when I cant even stand to be around you....the person I knew and liked is gone. I cant believe how much you haved changed, it could just be me thats seeing it.
I cant take it anymore...its just makes me not want to see or talk to you. No matter how hard I try..not matter what I do, it feels as if it doesnt really matter to you.
There is so much I want to say to you...just flat out tell you what I think. I know that I never will for the reason you will just think I am making things to difficult. I for one dont think I am making anything very difficult...just a simple person wanting to understand the sudden change in you.
Nevermind with all of this...its nonsence. I am just going to act like I always have toward you, no matter how you act toward me. Its the right thing to do...no matter how much I dislike it.
Yep thats it...I am just going to act like I normally do around you.
Ok..this post is over with. No need to write anymore. Goodbye
The time came, I sit there and think trying to remember just how I wanted this to happen.
Next to me he sits, a perfect person in my eyes. Heart pounding I begin to speak knowing that this is it. I turn to catch your eyes with mine, trying my best to see through your eyes and into your soul. You remind me of just how beautiful a person can be.
yeah dont know why I wrote that, but as you can see I did.
for another real random thought. I wonder what people think of me? how I act, what I look like..I havent ever really had sometime tell that before.
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you had died? I do..a lot actually. I always wonder just what it would be like if I had done certain situations differently. What a strange way to start off on this thing..asking a question like that. If I did die..who would miss me? How long will people actually remember me? I know people would say they would, but you never really do know. Now I havent been thinking of killing myself or anything so dont assume just because I am talking about death that I am.
Life is only as good as you make it....parts harder than others. Like now...life isnt the best. Its hard to explain why...well its not hard to explain its more hard to understand.
I have actually been feeling a lot of thing lately....being alone is the main one gah I hate it. Its the worst feeling ever.. I really want to be excepted by someone....I feel great around a few people but those few people..well I dont know. I always wanted to have a awesome relationship between a guy like Kimberly had with Jacob. I have never had that before..and I know when the time is right God will put someone like that in my life all I can do is just keep praying.
Its strange tho to think that...I thought I had found someone like that, but as of now I dont know. I guess it just takes time...everything takes time. I have grown to understand that more. I know its wrong to give up on things...I am usually not that kinda person. Then again when I have tried so hard on something...and it feels as if nothing has changed between us why should I bother putting myself through the hurt that comes with it. Yeah I know I say I am just going to give up...but giving up doesnt change anything either I will still have that hurt. So I will prolly just keep on and with time pray things become better.
yeah I must leave now...work is over..another day gone by with not much to show for it. I am going to try and keep writing in this...not like anyone reads it or cares. heh.
If you feel like it ...leave me a comment to read.
goodbye for now.
Tonight was awesome... I just had to post about it. I know I havent wrote in this thing in ages but its time I tried starting back up.
I just cant believe how awesome this night turned out to be. It involed slow danceing, good music, good friends and well just good everything. I got to slow dance with someone I really wanted to! Thats what made the night unforgetable...plus it wasnt just once we danced quite alot. Gosh I cant explain in word how I feel right now...I dont care if this meant nothing to him, it was tons of fun for me I know I will remember this for a long time.
I would really like somthing more between us I feel as if it will some day, but right now I dont know if he wants a relationship. I will just keep things as there going now...if its meant to happen it will. All I know is...I really like to talk to him and be around him, he is truly a great guy.
ok yeah enough with all that. here is a little something I wrote its not done but its a start.
" Everyone is moving, I stand alone.
Seeing people pass, hearing a conversation
I stand alone watching it all happen.
Afraid to take a step forward knowing that it could hurt you in the end."
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
I wonder just what life has to bring me....
Mixed emotion suck.
the end.
Hmmm ...its been a long week, man I cant believe that prom is this saturday! heck yeah its gonna be awesome. The decorations are looking reallly good!!!!
I am listening to The Spill Canvas right now a song called All Hail the Heartbreaker, its a really good song.....its kinda acoustic rock.
Yeah I really dont have much to say now....its been nothing but school and workin on prom. We still need to get all night stuff though....I think we are just gonna make us some shirts. It should be fun! ha.
ok..thats it...
